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Archive for the ‘ruminations’ Category

i recently went to an oasis gig and it was an odd experience. I’ve not really been following oasis for the last ten years but when they hit the scene in 1994 they were really important to me.

This gig musical was good, but the audience was made up of drunk loud thirty year old men who clearly hadn’t got the memo that how you behave when you are sixteen is not appropriate in thirty year olds. i loath men like that, loath them, they make me feel deeply unsafe, they take up too much space and they are violent and rude, so going into and coming out of the venue was not a pleasant experiences

but the gig itself really took me down memory lane, being sixteen was an odd experience for me, as I pretty much think it was for everyone. It was a very split experience on the one hand I was slowly going insane from repressing serious amounts of recent trauma and violence and on the other hand the whole world was opening up for me

I’d just started at sixth form college and I met a whole bunch of people who were really different from the world I’d been taught existed

And in the years between then an now there has been a whole lot of heartache and healing, of losses and gains, and a lot of really hard work to get to the level of coherence I am today.

And this song? The first time I heard it I remember thinking, if i survive this, if I get though (and it was touch and go whether i would survive my life for a really long time) this will be the song I’m singing

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