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Archive for the ‘healing’ Category

We fade Away

We eat everything that’s forced upon us, we swallow everything that’s shoved down our throats, the anger, the erasure, the lies, the secrets the violence but eventually we stop, we say “no more” we sew up our mouths and start erasing ourselves. and every woman, every woman I’ve ever known that has done this, every woman, friends,sisters, lovers, clients has been breached, this is a protest, a hunger strike, we go to war to reclaim back the only thing our own and cause our own collateral damage in the process, we go to war with a world that doesn’t want us moving through it in the bodies we are entitled to, we go to war with the only power we have: we fade away.

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Epiphany

He calls me across the miles to tell me his sister isn’t eating and I click in to “advice on how to deal with troubled young people” mode. recalibrate my mind to pull out all the information that could be useful for this situation. but afterwards having been in this head space makes me realise some things things,

one:I’m not mended I only know what i know as well as i know them because these are places I’ve been, because these are experiences I’ve had and the scars are still tender.

Two If i don’t let myself feel the tenderness of the scars I don’t feel anything I have so much potential, I have the capacity to be deeply creative, to do so much to make so much, to change so much. i have the capacity to feel so much beauty, to have so much energy but only if I acknowledge and feel the wounds,

Three I’m still multiple and that’s okay I need both myselves, all the parts of myselves to be able to balance in this life. I function best when om balancing on the edges of madness oblivion rage and beauty, sanity, solidity, and I can only do that with all of my selves present and distinct but working in tandem

Four there is nothing I would rather be doing than helping young people get their shit together i have so much passion about supporting wounded youngsters, about helping them heal, I cant single handedly change the world so people don’t get hurt but I can help them mend from it.

These are actually a bunch of really powerful revelations that may help me put myself back on a sensible life direction

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Samhain:We grieve

Each of these songs coresponds intimatley to people who have been important in my life that died. I was going to write about them as well but changed my mind because i fellt that was too personal

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